Ask any dad about the stresses a newborn brings, and they will surely regale you with many stories of anxiety-inducing experiences they had with their newborns. Let’s be honest, trial by fire is really the only way that most of us will be ushered into fatherhood. In this article we will provide you with 7 tips and tricks for managing new dad stress so that you can keep your cool when things are running hot.
Congratulations on entering into fatherhood! This next phase of your life will be equally rewarding and challenging, but with a bit of perseverance and grit, you will absolutely crush it. If you are like me and have never experienced life with a newborn, you may be surprised at how anxiety-inducing they can be. Every cry, fever, and fuss adds another drop in the bucket, contributing to mental fatigue and exhaustion. Here are seven tips that new dads can use to help improve their mental health during the newborn phase.
Sleep whenever possible
It might seem impossible, especially during the first few weeks after your child is born, but sleep is essential to ensure that you take proper care of both you and your little one. Short-term sleep deprivation can lead to fatigue, memory loss, and trouble concentrating, none of which is good for you or your baby.
Set expectations early with friends and family
As your significant other’s due date draws closer, you are probably beginning to make plans to introduce your friends and family to your beautiful new baby. It is, after all, a monumental occasion, and everyone is undoubtedly just as excited for you as you are. However, planning ahead and establishing ground rules early can save you from headaches and heartaches down the road.
Set limits on the length of stay, if visitors are traveling to see you, and how soon visitors can come after the baby is born. Look, no one wants to be told they aren’t welcome, but after a few days with the in-laws, you and your significant other might need some time to recharge. My wife and I had family fly out on several occasions, but it was made clear that the trip had to be limited to just a few days because we knew it would be draining to entertain guests and grow into our new role as parents. Another tip is to try and give you and your significant other enough time to develop a rhythm as parents before having visitors. Of course, as soon as the baby is born, everyone will want to see them immediately. As new parents, you may find yourself quickly overwhelmed during the first few weeks after your baby is born. It might be worth planning to have visitors only after you have become more comfortable in your new role.
Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.
Don’t neglect your physical health during this time! This is part and parcel of getting sleep when you can, eating healthy, and getting outside each day for a bit. The reality has a newborn throws off your routine pretty significantly. It’s easy to lose track of when you worked out last, but you must stay active. Aside from the many, many long-term benefits of regular exercise, the endorphins released during each workout session can help you feel recharged and boost your mood. Trust me, the phrase “happy wife, happy life” goes a long way during this period, so anything you can do to improve your mood, and by proxy, your significant other’s mood, is absolutely essential right now.
Get out of the house
During the newborn phase, it is easy to lose track of time as the days start to blend into one another. This led to an acute case of cabin fever and some mild lawn neglect, and I often asked my wife, “when was the last time I left the house.” Of course, I am not saying that now is the time to take that solo backpacking trip across Europe you have always wanted to take. What I am saying, however, is that it can do you tremendous good during this period to leave the house for a little while every now and then and get some vitamin D. Taking a walk around the neighborhood, running to the hardware store, or even opting to do the grocery shopping for a change are just some of the ways you can take a little you-time to recharge your battery and improve your mental well-being.
Take on some minor home improvement projects
If you are the type of person who always has to be doing something productive to stay sane, then now might be the perfect time to take on some of those minor DIY projects you have planned for the house. I chose to do some landscaping and sod installation in the front yard to spruce up my home and my mental well-being. You might consider reorganizing the garage, installing a new security system, or fixing that squeaky door your significant other has been asking about for months. Either way, being productive around the house is just another way to keep you grounded during this time.
Avoid work related calls when able
I get it, this is a stressful time as you are not only now caring for a brand-new living human being but trying to figure out how you will provide for this new dependent. However, if your company gives you paid leave, I strongly, strongly urge you to take it and disconnect yourself from your work as much as possible. You don’t have to remove yourself from the requisite conversations altogether, but you should give your company enough notice so that they can delegate your responsibilities and ensure the business runs efficiently in your absence. There is certainly an inherent trade-off during this time concerning your professional life, and everyone has to decide whether meeting a quarterly goal is worth missing out on making memories with your newborn that you will never have the chance to make again.
Lastly, relax. Honestly, everything will be okay
Look, no one said caring for a newborn would be easy. Unless you cared for a kid sibling growing up, you probably have little to no experience in this field, and now you are suddenly responsible for a tiny human. If you’re like me and worry about every little thing, you might be in a constant state of anxiety over every little move or noise your baby makes.
This last tip comes from my personal collection. Take a deep breath. Everything will be okay. Whatever it is you are concerned about is likely nothing to worry over at all. Babies are more resilient than you would at first think. Now, I’m not saying they are invincible and that it’s okay to be rough with them in any way. What I am saying, however, is that it is natural for babies to get a bump, bruise, or scratch now and then, especially given how sharp their nails can get. There is always a little cause for concern. My wife and I had our first baby during covid, and wouldn’t you know, we caught the virus when our son was two weeks old. We were paranoid about getting close to or touching him because we didn’t know what impact it would have on our little man. Sure, he ran a bit warm, and we were concerned about a fever, so we called our pediatrician and considered taking him to the hospital if he reached a fever of 100.4F but did not need to. All things considered, he handled covid better than we did. As an aside, I strongly, strongly recommend getting a pediatric digital thermometer because they really help in those instances you want a quick reassurance because your baby is feeling a bit warm.